


Just Another Part of Me

by skargasm



Series: Just Another Part!verse [1]
Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-30
Updated: 2013-03-30
Packaged: 2017-12-06 23:36:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 16,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/741498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skargasm/pseuds/skargasm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Something strange is happening to Xander and he finds himself changing in ways he never expected. Spike is dragged along by previously hidden desires and the L.A. gang try to help them reconcile the new beast that is just another part of Xander.....</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. He smelled so delicious.....

**Title:** → Just Another Part of Me  
 **Rating:** → NC17  
 **Author:** → **Pairing:** → Spike/Xander  
 **Word Count:** →   
**Prompt:** → Prompt #034: Animalistic @ , Prompt: Exile @ , Prompt : J @ & Prompt #335: Perfume @ **Fandom:** → Buffy the Vampire Slayer  
 **Part:** → 1  
 **Genre:** → AU  
 **Beta (s):** → Part beta'd by but I twiddled with it so any mistakes are mine!  
 **Disclaimer:** → Not mine.  
 **Summary:** → It represented another part of him.....  
 **Notes:** → Well you guys know by now that I love me some hyena!Xander....written for Season 9 of so I will try to post it before the end!!  
 **Graphics:** Banner by

* * *

[ ](http://imgur.com/Z7czR)

* * *

He smelled so delicious. 

It was so difficult each and every day to remember to keep this all low key. To remember that any overt signs would lead to detection. Detection meant another painful attempt at erasure. And this time, there were no guarantees that they would be able to prevent full scale war. 

War against the slayer who always created the urge to snarl and growl, to challenge her view that she had some indefinable right to be alpha despite not winning that honorific.

War against the red sorceress, to put her in her place, slam her down and force her to stop playing with dangerous magics and finally listen to the teachings and rulings of the Elder...

There were only two exempt from this warring desire. The Elder and “he” of the delicious scent. 

The Elder because respect was due to one that had successfully shepherded them safely through so much. There was still much to learn. 

And “he” of the delicious scent because somewhere deep inside was the instinctual knowledge that “he” was the one. That somehow, after searching through Mummies and the Praying Mantes, through the sheer disappointment of one of the oldest they had met who chose to hide his power and submit to the slayer – all of this whilst fighting against the consciousness that was hung up on gender and appearances. This one was different. This one was full of arrogance in spite of his circumstances; this one had not become “less” because of unnatural interference but had demonstrated the ability to adapt and survive. An inherent kind of 'that's life approach' that spoke of the ability to roll with the changes, whatever they might be. Everything they knew about this one drew them more and more. Devotion, loyalty, strength, resilience.

And he smelled delicious. 

They had hung around too long. It had been a long, difficult day and they had needed - _something_. They found themselves drawn inexorably here. Home of the delicious scent. 

Rolling in the sheets, surrounded by that delicious aroma, it had been practically impossible not to hump the soft cotton as the urge to mate became irresistible. It had taken almost everything in them to use their own second tee-shirt – they had wanted nothing more than to mingle their scents with “his”, mark their territory. It was a bitter accent to a deliriously ecstatic event to come within the confines of the cotton – the taste and scents were perfect, the feel was not. 

And now they were almost trapped. They hid within the bushes, too close for comfort but unable to get further away, and they watched as “he” came home, smelling more delicious than normal.

* * *

“Bloody Slayer, always aiming for the nose! Evil bint, should be ashamed of herself, hitting when I can't hit back. S'not exactly cricket is it?!” Hand held to his bloody nose, Spike strode angrily towards the entrance to his crypt, coming to a halt as something tickled his senses. It wasn't the first time he had felt he was being watched, but this time somehow it seemed closer. Standing very still, he reached out with all of his dulled senses. He looked up, very conscious that dawn was on it's way but wanting to use every available second to figure out just who, or what, was watching him.

“Bugger this!! Can't blame ya for looking – Imma fine figure of a man after all – but if you're gonna come courting or fighting, better make sure it's the right time Pet.” Satisfied that he had let whatever it was know that he knew they were there, he stomped into his crypt. Almost immediately he was assaulted by the scent of an intruder. The smell got stronger the further into his crypt he went until he got to his bed. 

“Who the fuck has been sleeping in my bed?!!” Grabbing one of his pillows, he pressed it to his face and inhaled deeply. There was something about this smell, something familiar but not quite right. It smelled wild, untamed and yet also of detergent and even chocolate. Who, or what, the hell was this thing?

Throwing the pillow to the ground, Spike sat on his bed and lowered his head. Breathing in deeply, he held the scent in his lungs. So familiar yet – not. If he didn't know better, he'd say it smelled like bloody Xander. Not that that was likely – the boy had made his feelings about vampires very well known and perfectly clear. His opinion of chipped vampires was even more corrosive and if he hadn't been admiring the wit and sheer nerve of the boy, Spike could have found some of his insults too much. But he did admire him – constantly emasculated by that bitch the Slayer, or ignore by the Watcher or even worse, practically infantilised by the Witch. The boy needed to do _something_ to assert his manhood and if half the time his cracks went over their heads or they were just too busy to listen to what he had to say, that didn't lessen him. And Spike had noted that many of their best ideas came from the boy even if he was rarely acknowledged or thanked for his contribution. So no matter how much this scent seemed familiar, it couldn't be Xander. Could it?

With a curse, Spike pushed himself from the bed and headed towards his shower area. A friend of Clem's had rigged it up for him for a bloody good price, and now he could actually shower whenever he liked. He had no idea about the mechanics and didn't want to know – it did what he had paid for and that was good enough for him. Stripping off, he tried to think what the other scents could be and what they reminded him of, thoughts that kept him busy throughout his long shower, the cold glass of cow's blood he drained and changing his sheets. It was as he settled down to sleep, his inner chamber safe from the deadly rays of the sun that he remembered a short trip to Africa he and Angelus had taken. So wild, so freeing, the whole trip had actually been worth continually having to sleep beneath the dirt for the experiences. 

Fighting lions and tigers had been exhilarating, and even the vegetarian prey tasted better under the African sun. Without Drusilla or Darla to complain about accommodations, he and Angelus had run wild for a good six months, a time when he had been slowly making the transition from William to Spike; when Angelus had let go of his massive ego and trained Spike in hunting techniques and acted like – well, he hadn't called Angel his Yoda for nothing.

But that was what the scent reminded him of. He went to sleep with a smile on his face and the scent of Africa in his nostrils....

* * *

[T2WO](http://spikecentric.livejournal.com/124888.html)

* * *


	2. Xander, is there something wrong?

* * *

”Xander is there something wrong? You've been so distant lately and I know Buffy and I have been busy with stuff but you're just never around. Are you okay?” Walking next to Willow on the way to Starbucks, Xander wondered how he should answer her.

How did he tell her that some nights he woke up from dreams where 'he' was the demon they were chasing? That lately, there were times when he could sense her arrival just from her footsteps and the vague scent of her perfume? That sometimes – more and more so lately – the desire to slap some sense into Buffy as they listened to yet another of her half-baked, ill thought out plans was almost overwhelming?

That lately, he found himself staring at Spike and wanting nothing more than to strip off leather, cotton and denim and rub himself all over that pale, lean body?

“No Wills, I'm fine, good even. Just a lot going on at the construction site. That and finally packing up from the basement. I got the okay on that apartment I was looking at.”

“What apartment? I thought you were happy living at your parents' place – cheap rent, mom still cooking and cleaning for you?”

“Gah, where have you been? More like, doing laundry in my living room than cleaning for me, and I'd rather eat out. And there's only so many times a man can cope with his mother walking in at inappropriate times before it really is time to move out. I told you that about three weeks ago, don't you remember?”

“Did I tell you Oz and I have decided to try Couple's Counselling? It's surreal – it's this demon counsellor who specialises in mixed couples. Oz thinks if I can understand about his wolf that maybe things can work out this time.”

Willow looked so happy, Xander couldn't bring himself to snap at her – she obviously had a lot on her mind hence not hearing him talk about needing to move out and his subsequent apartment search. It merely confirmed what he had been thinking – he couldn't talk about what was going on with her and not only because he wasn't sure she would understand. Somehow he wasn't even sure that she would _listen_. 

“So who's this counsellor? And what about your friend, Tara was it? I may be slightly off base but I thought I sme – got the idea that maybe you and she were....”

“OH! Oh no!! I mean, not that there's anything wrong with that. It's just it would be so difficult to explain to people and I'm not sure Buffy would understand; and Giles would just – anyway, Oz came back so the very idea of it is all non-talkworthy because, you know, I love Oz and want to get to grips with the whole wolf thing.”

“Okay, okay, calm down. I get it – I really do. Out of all of us, I'm going to understand why you might find the idea of bisexuality confusing or difficult to talk to your friends about.” He knew he was mumbling, his voice getting lower and lower as he spoke. He was half afraid that she would realise what he was talking about, half afraid that she wouldn't and he would have to explain in a balder fashion. 

“Confusing is definitely the word. You have _absolutely_ no idea how I felt the first time I realised I had those kind of feelings for Tara – well, sort of. It was all a bit of a shock especially now I have you to talk to about it. Thank you so much for not freaking out on me.”

“Willow, I - “

“I mean, I knew you wouldn't really freak because you always support me and understand. And I wish I was a better person like you because I just don't know how I'd cope if someone said that to me completely out of nowhere. I mean, I'd want to be supporto girl but it would be so confusing. And really, who changes like that after so many years being one way? It would be like you suddenly announcing that you'd fallen in love with someone like Drusilla! Although, yeah, demon so maybe, but you would never fall for a vampire! So, anyway, Dr Kripcheck says - “

He couldn't help it – he pretty much tuned her out at that point. He'd known that Willow wasn't good with change but with a choice between her and Buffy, he'd really hoped that she would be able to listen. He didn't know what to do. The urges were getting stronger and he found himself thinking in terms of they instead of he nearly all the time now. Twice he'd come out of weird fuge states and found himself standing outside Spike's crypt. On one of those occasions, he'd found a teeshirt shoved in his jeacket pocket that smelled embarrassingly familiar and he'd hastily thrown it away and hurried home. Maybe he was going insane?

* * *

“Well you're the last person I expected to hear from. Come on in and make sure you wipe your feet.” Strangely reassured by the familiar strident tones, Xander walked into Cordelia's apartment, wiping his feet as instructed. The place was warm and welcoming in a minimalist fashion and just the look of it said Cordelia: straight forward, to the point but with an underlying warmth.

“Thanks for agreeing to see me.”

“Not a problem. God knows, Angel owes me enough time off what with constant visions and demon fighting, and let's not get into the whole demon upgrade.”

“So it's true then? You let them turn you half demon?” He looked her up and down, half expecting to see some external clues like horns or maybe a tail. 

“Xander Harris, are you _smelling_ me?!” 

“Oh God, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! This – well, that's part of what I wanted to talk to you about.” 

“You better sit down before you fall down – this one sounds like it's going to be a doozy.” Gratefully seating himself where she indicated, Xander found that once he opened his mouth he was almost completely unable to shut up. Everything came pouring out of him: the dreams, the fugue states, the strange reactions from demons he met; all of it. Including his sudden inexplicable attraction to Spike. He felt near to tears with gratitude as she simply sat and listened, not even making the exclamations of surprise that would have matched her facial expressions.

“Xander, you know what I'm going to say – in the first instance anyway.”

“Cordy, I can't go to Giles with his, I really just can't. Can you imagine the look on his face? It would be some big what has Xander got himself into this time and I can't take it. I swear to you, I haven't dabbled in any magic or made any wishes, none of it.”

“Okay, okay, calm down. I kinda knew what would be your first reaction. Look, you seem completely exhausted – why don't you go and put your head down whilst I make a few phone calls? Do you remember Wesley – sort of a Junior Giles? Well we managed to knock most of that out of him and he's actually a really good guy. I think he can help us understand what's going on and decide what to do next.”

“Are you sure? About the getting some sleep thing here and talking to Wesley? I don't want to find myself in some Watcher's Council lock box being experimented on.”

“Xander, I'm sure about Wesley, really I am. You know I won't let anything happen to you. Go, get some sleep and leave this to me.” He still wasn't sure and probably would have babbled his way out if not for the door opening. Later, if asked to explain how it all went down, he would be hard pressed to remember any details. He came back to himself to find he was crouched over a large afro-American man, his teeth bared as he snarled to keep him from trying to escape.

* * *

[Part T3HREE](http://spikecentric.livejournal.com/125031.html)

* * *


	3. Cordelia was hanging on his arm....

Cordelia was hanging on his arm, trying to pull him off, yelling shrilly in his ear.

“Xander! XANDER!! It's alright, he's not going to hurt me – let him go now, let him up.” Slowly, teeth still bared, he allowed her to tug him to a standing position but he maintained his place in front of her, always keeping himself between her and the enemy. “God! Xander, this is Charles. Charles, this is Xander and honey, I am so sorry. He's trying to protect me and seem to have got a bit demonised since I saw him last.” 

“S'alright princess, this whole demonising shit seems to be doing the rounds. Whoa, steady there big fella, anyone wanting to keep my Cordy safe from the bad guys can't be all bad himself but I ain't about to sit back and let you turn me into kibble.” 

Shaking his head, Xander flushed a deep red and stepped out of the way, finally allowing Cordelia past so she could check Charles (?) for injuries.

“I'm good, I'm good. One set of teeth-marks is all – nah, just messing with ya.” Sniffing the air delicately, Xander realised that their scents were intertwined – whoever this Charles was, he was more to Cordelia than just a friend. 

“Oh God, I'm so sorry.” A quick glance around the room confirmed that he had been too upset to notice earlier in his visit: a heavy denim jacket, way too big to fit Cordelia, was tossed casually over a chair; there were at least three photographs scattered around the room that showed Cordelia either embracing or sat on Charles' lap, and if he needed any further confirmation that the two of them were a couple, watching the two of them check each other out for signs of injury, their touches made it abundantly clear that they were way more than friends.

“Hey now, no big. Cordy told me you were coming to town and I knew you were her ex- guess I wanted to feel out the competition. I'm Gunn – only Cordy calls me Charles.” 

“Gunn, yeah, I heard through Buffy that you were working with Angel – I didn't realise when Cordy called you Charles. And hey, no competition – I seem to have switched sides.”

“Huh?”

“Xander's got the hots for Spike.”

“Spike? As in Angel's kid that had anger management issues? Didn't they leash him or summat like that in Sunnydale – hey, no offence meant to your honey. As long as you're not making eyes at my ass – or hers – I don't care what you wanna do!” 

“Sorry,” Xander mumbled, restraining the urge to attack Gunn for not only referring to Spike as Angel's kid but for the 'leashed' comment. “And it looks like I have anger management issues now.” 

“Comes with the demon upgrade. Queen C here was like on permanent PMT mode when Skip first hit her with the demon mojo.” Gunn laughed off the slap that Cordelia aimed at his head. “How can we help you man?” 

“With an encouraging nod from Cordelia, Xander spoke up.

“It's the whole demon upgrade thing. It's very new and I don't recall agreeing to it. Cordelia seems to think Wesley can help me figure it out.”

“Makes senses – the man's brain is almost too big for his head.”

“Charles!”

“Well it is!” Feeling slightly melancholy watching the two of them interact, Xander moved away. Sometimes it felt like he was stranded on Idiot Island watching the rest of the world get their asses in gear, move on with their lives and figure out who they wanted to be. He didn't think he could stand to be around their obvious happiness for much longer. 

“If it's okay with you, it would be great to get some sleep. It'll be nice not to worry about waking up alongside Spike's crypt.”

“What? Oh hey man, I thought you and blondie were an item?” 

“No. And I have no reason to believe he'd even be interested. Whatever this demon upgrade is, it seems to have latched onto Spike as it's mate of choice.” 

“Dayum, partner, that's rough. Especially if he's anything like Angel – that dude is SO buttoned up, I think he showers with his clothes on.” That surprised a laugh out of Xander and he shook his head. 

“Somehow I don't think Spike is quite as repressed as Angel but up until now as far as I know, he's strictly hetero.” Gunn gave him a sympathetic smile as Cordelia led him out of the room and he wondered if he would have to get used to receiving those. Sleep was a long time in coming and he quietly listened to the murmur of Gunn and Cordelia in the other room as he dropped off.

* * *

“What do you mean the boy's gone to L.A.? What's he gone there for?”

“What the hell do you care? Spike, what are you doing here anyway? We don't need you tonight and Giles says he has no blood or money for you.” 

“What? Oh nothing. Heard rumour of a nest of P'tera demons you might wanna look into over near Restview. They have a nasty habit of grave-digging to get a free lunch if you know what I mean. Listen, about Xander - “

“Ewww!! Eating dead bodies?! Yuck! We might need you after all because – Spike? Where did he go?!”

He couldn't explain why he felt the need to follow Xander to L.A. But it was there. It didn't sit right with him that the boy had gone without so much as a word of explanation. Although, since when did Xander have to explain himself to Spike? Cursing the de Soto for refusing to start, he finally managed to convince Clem to lend him his motorbike. It was a piece of junk and would provide zero protection from the sun, but the burning need to follow the boy just wouldn't let up. Shrugging off the offered helmet and ignoring Clem's joke about how it wouldn't mess up Spike's hair, he set off for L.A., wondering just what he was going to tell Angel when he got there.

* * *

He could feel the weight of the stare as he munched through another slice of pizza and was vaguely aware of a growing desire to snap his teeth in agitation. 

“Angel, dude, you're staring again.” Gunn's voice caused Angel to finally look away and Xander was able to relax his guard a little. Somehow it seemed beyond rude to snarl at your reluctant host and snap your teeth in his face. He couldn't help how he felt though. Despite getting distance from Buffy and the humanising effects of working with Cordelia, Angel was still obviously not comfortable with his friends, his attempts to not show demonic behaviour and traits making him seem stilted and buttoned up. There was something about such repression – even after Cordelia had become part demon for his cause – that grated on Xander and he realised he would probably never like Angel. 

Liking and fighting alongside him were two different things however and the rousing fight he had invited himself along to had actually been sort of enjoyable. Without Buffy, Willow or Giles around, he seemed to be so much more relaxed, his fighting ability undeniably enhanced by whatever was happening to him. He was filthy with mud, had numerous burning scratches and his jacket was completely unsalvageable but he was in a good mood. 

Cordelia had done exactly what he had known she would, taken control of the issue and as soon as they arrived at the Hyperion she had dragged Wesley away to fill him in on Xander's dilemma, casually calling out the details of the vision that sent them out on the fight. She and Wesley were still deep in conversation on their return, only stopping briefly to congratulate the conquering heroes and grab slices of pizza when it arrived. 

“Why are you here again?”

“Angel, man, your manners are deteriorating!”

“It's okay, Gunn. I'm not here to bother you Angel; not here on a mission from Buffy or Giles. Cordelia and Wesley are trying to help me with something and - “ His explanation was halted by the slamming open of the front door. All three turned, weapons instantly grabbed and raised to greet the new threat. 

“Holy shit!!” Dropping their weapons, they ran to the door, Xander reaching it first and just in time to catch Spike as he staggered in and fell. His duster was ripped to shreds an through the ripped remains of his black tee-shirt could plainly be seen deep bleeding gouges in his chest. Lowering him gently to the floor, Xander swiftly began examining his body for further damage, uncontrollable growls coming from him as he found more marks and wounds down Spike's entire torso and flanks. Spike's face was a mass of cuts and bruises, one eye swollen shut with the other barely open and a bloodshot red. His hair was matted to his head with blood, and his knuckle and hands showed clear signs that whatever had happened, he had fought back. 

“What the - ?” Spike, what happ – XANDER!” Angel had moved to Spike's other side while Xander was examining him, instinctively reaching out to touch but yanking his hand back just in time as Xander snapped at it with his jaws. “What the hell?” he turned to face Gunn who had shut and locked the front door after checking Spike wasn't being chased. 

“Angel, man, you need to back up.” Holding his hands up in the universal gesture meaning no harm, Gunn spoke to Angel in an urgent whisper. Angel stepped back, staring down at Xander who was crouched protectively over Spike and growling loudly. This is part of why our boy's come to L.A. - didn't really have time to explain it to you and I'm thinkin' now isn't it either.” 

“Since when were Xander and Spike – and why is he growling at me?!”

“Yo, Xander, dude, you need to chill. Nobody here wants to hurt your man, k? We're just gonna help get him to a room and get him settled, yeah? Angel , this isn't the time. Will you back the hell up?” Gunn cursed in obvious exasperation as Angel made another abortive attempt to move towards Spike. “Whoa Xander, it's okay, man, it's okay. Angel's gonna go get a supply of blood and I'm gonna lead you to a room, okay?” With one more speaking glare at Angel, Gun began backing away towards the one working elevator in the hotel. 

Xander warily watched as Angel circled around him in a wide berth before running off in the direction of the kitchen, throwing obviously confused glances backwards. Once Angel was out of sight, he carefully lifted the damaged form of Spike into his arms and moved to follow Gunn, crooning to the unconscious bundle in his arms as he went.


	4. His first thought was that he was warm....

His first thought was that he was warm. His second was that nothing seemed to be hurting anymore, a surprise as the last time he could recall being conscious he had most definitely felt the deep pain of a dislocated shoulder and the sharp prick of broken ribs jabbing at him. Risking trying to open his eyes, he panicked momentarily when he could only see blurredly out of one eye and not out of the other at all.

“S'okay. You've got bandages over one of your eyes and the lights have been dimmed. You're not blind.” He vaguely recognised the female voice, twitching his head far enough that he could see out of his swollen eye. What was the bint's name again? Charlotte? No, Clarissa – it was something a bit posh that started with a C. “It's Cordelia. You made it to the Hyperion and you're safe complete with bodyguard.” He turned his head towards where she gestured. A dark head was resting against the back of hand, the same fingers held in a lax grip. “Hasn't left your side since you got here. Now you've woken up, maybe you can stop him from growling every time we get too close.” 

“What - “ His voice was croaky, his throat sore and he had a vague recollection of a foot stamping down towards his neck. He shuddered at the memory.

“Xander hasn't left your side since you staggered in here and he's barely let anyone else near you. I don't know what whoodoo voodoo you've done on him, but so help me God if you hurt him - “

“Wouldn't.” Despite the croakiness of his voice, his sincerity came across loud and clear and the vibrantly, attractive brunette stared at him thoughtfully before nodding her head decisively, He felt a vague sense of relief, instinctively aware he didn't want to get on her bad side. 

“Good. I'll go and get you some blood now you're awake and I guess I better tell his Lord Broodiness the good news.” He cracked a smile at the obviously affectionate nickname before turning back to Xander who was still asleep, forehead pressed to Spike's hand. He heard Cordelia leave the room and the sound of the door closing and then it was just him and Xander, the quiet of the room only broken by soft snuffling snores.

Carefully because he didn't want to jar anything into hurting, he reached over with this free hand and stroked his fingers through the tumble of dark curls on Xander's head, wondering exactly why the young Scooby seemed to be so invested in him. And he in return.

* * *

He wanted to purr. Strong fingers were carding through his hair, scritching gently against his scalp in movements that made him want to stretch closer. His back was aching and he had a crick in his neck but he didn't want to move. The most delicious scent was in his nostrils and he felt so peaceful. It had been a long time since he had felt so peaceful within himself – for too long he felt as though he had been fighting himself. Fighting something inside himself that barely tolerated his friends, that seemed to want to argue with almost every patrolling plan that Buffy came up with, that found him standing outside Spike's crypt at the break of dawn wit a cum-stained tee-shirt in his pocket. Spike.......

“Hello Pet.” Rubbing his eyes, he swiped at the hair that had tumbled over his forehead, yawning as he tried to gather his scattered senses. 

“Hey Spike.” His voice was deep with leftover sleep and he looked down in embarrassment as a huge yawn split his face and he became aware of morning breath. Unable to force his gaze to rise, he looked at the slim, almost delicate looking hand resting in his large one. The bruises, scrapes and small cuts had healed, the skin back to pristine creamy white and he inwardly marvelled at the wonders of vampire healing. He had been so panicked when he had managed to get Spike undressed and into the bed. Broken ribs could clearly be seen sticking out at the wrong angles, blood alternately seeming to pour out of the deep gouges or clotted in matted lumps. It had taken over an hour to clean Spike up with hot water and sponges, the full extent of his injuries only becoming evidence once all of the blood had been cleaned away. 

“Hear tell I've got you to thank for the clean up job.” He looked up hastily, wondering just what thoughts the quiet voice masked. “Also hear that you wouldn't let anyone else hear me. Got an overly active protective streak going or something?” 

“No, I – well um - “ He stuttered to a halt, completely unsure what to say. How did he confess to Spike that just the thought of anyone touching him had made him almost as homicidal as the thought of whoever or whatever had caused the damage in the first place? How did he tell Spike that he had pretty much attacked Angel when he tried to come into the room to help, that Gunn had had to pull him off the other vampire and restrain him whilst Angel fed the mostly unconscious Spike Sire's blood direct from the vein? That the nasty voice inside his head kept telling him that Angel could just as easily bleed into a mug and that holding Spike that close was completely unnecessary and gratuitous? That he was almost positive that Angel was trying to challenge Xander's claim to Spike – a claim that he hadn't ever really admitted out loud, let alone mentioned to Spike himself? 

“Summat you wanna tell me luv? You been visiting my crypt maybe?” He flushed a deep red at the question, remembering what he – they – had done the last time he had been in Spike's crypt. God, how humiliated could he get? “Xander – what's going on? There's something different about you, can tell even with all my senses blunted by animal blood. Tell me.” 

Perhaps if Spike had spoken in his normal brash, cocky tones he could have resisted the question, could have tried to babble his way through a vague explanation and run away. But Spike's voice was calm and quiet, no hint of judgement or rejection and it was damned near impossible to resist answering when he was talking to Xander like that. Talking to him like he 'saw' him and wasn't turned off, disappointed or freaked out. 

“Spike, I - “ The door opened loudly, Angel stalking into the room with a scowl on his face. 

“Right Spike, you wanna tell me what the hell's going on? What are you doing in L.A, what have you done to Xander and exactly what happened to you that you turned up all beaten to hell?” Xander couldn't prevent the growl although if he was being completely honest, he didn't try too hard to keep it inside. Angel's sidestep was satisfying, as was the smirk that quickly crossed Spike's face. 

“What makes you think I did summat?!”

* * *

Xander didn't seem to be trying very hard to hold back the growl that was vibrating in his throat and Spike was momentarily stunned at this demonstration of what Cordelia had warned him about. It made him smirk when Angel took a swift sidestep to stay as far away from Xander as he could get in the room. There was a story there and no mistake and if it led to embarrassing Angel Spike was all for hearing it. 

“Because when you're around people tend to get pissed off but even for you this was extreme.” 

“Yeah, yeah, fine. But this time mate, I've got no idea. Came to L.A to - “ How did he explain this sudden inexplicable urge to have Xander in his sights? Not like there was anything – defined or otherwise – between them. He looked over at Xander who seemed content to sit close by, his hand resting discreetly by Spike's legs through the covers. Well, if the boy could growl at people for coming too close, he could put himself out there too. “Didn't sit well that Xander was hitting the big city without me. Promised the lad I'd take him to some of my favourite clubs didn't I?” Xander jerked in surprise, a blush colouring his cheeks before he gave what was obviously a pleased nod. “Was simply following his trail when this group of – bloody hell, I don't even know what they were – jumped me. Laid into me until they got me onto the ground, then started going on about needing the Wild One. Tried to tell them I had no clue who or what they were talking about but they took no notice. One of them kicked me in the head, then they hauled me up and started going on about defiling the wild one with my dead spirit - “

“I knew it! Who the hell did you sleep with this time that you shouldn't?”

“OI! No, I didn't – I haven't!” He managed to grab Xander's hand as he went to yank it away and now he was speaking directly to the boy. “I bloody well haven't defiled anyone an' I know cos I haven't touched anyone in bloody ages, since well before the chip!! Whoever they're talkin' about, it wasn't me!”

“Come on Spike, when you got here you smelled like you'd been rolling around in bed with someone or something, don't bother to deny it.” 

“I _swear_ to you - “

“It was me.” Xander's voice cut across the argument. “What you smelled on him when he got here, it was me. Well – a part of me at least.”

“What are you talking about? I know your scent Xander and this wasn't just – well, close quarters researching. This was bodily fluids.” He would take great delight in winding the pouf up about this later, but right now he was finally putting two and two together. 

“Outside my crypt? In my - “

“Yeah, sorry. I – there's something going on and I couldn't stop myself. I didn't mean to - “ a stunned gasp came from Angel and Spike couldn't blame him. This was completely unexpected. 

“What about this Wild One then?”

“I think – I think that's me too. Lately there have been signs of – God, um, look. Did you hear I was possessed once by a primal hyena?”

“Heard a little about it.” Angel stood quietly in the background, obviously content to let Spike get the details. 

“Giles banished it – sent it back. Or we thought he had. These last few months – since I turned twenty one – things have been getting weird.”

“What kind of weird?” Xander was gripping Spike's hand hard and he wondered if the boy was even aware of his deathlike grip. 

“Losing time. Thoughts in my head that don't feel like mine. I went to Willie's for Buffy and a couple of demons bowed at me. I thought they were yanking my chain but Willie said something about it being true then. I couldn't get him to go into more details once it became obvious I didn't know what he was talking about.” 

“What about the stalking mate – is that you or whatever's inside ya?” Xander blushed again, his gaze flickering to Spike's before he looked down again. The fingers gripping his tightened and loosened and Spike realised he was doing the same back – did he really care that much what the answer was going to be?


	5. ”That's – well the stalking behaviour isn't me....

”That's – well the stalking behaviour isn't me, but the feelings..... the feelings belong to both of us.”

“Right, I see.” 

“Is that – is that okay?”

“Yeah pet, it's okay and you're not alone so you can stop worrying on that score. But I think we might need to look into this a bit more don't you? If you've got demons bowing to ya and Willie knows something then we need to figure it out yeah?” Xander nodded but didn't release his grip on Spike's fingers. “Is Percy still about Angel?”

“Perc – oh, you mean Wesley? Yes, he's still helping me. I'll go and get him. Xander I don't understand why you haven't spoken to Buffy about this. And Giles. Surely - “

“What, so they could see me as even more of a fuck up? No, I felt too weird going to Giles with this. And Willow's answer to everything is magic. That's why I came to L.A to Cordy – I knew she'd hear me out at least, try to help me without judging.” Angel nodded then went to the door, disappearing through it. Spike could heard him calling for Wesley but his attention was mainly on Xander. 

“You alright?”

“I should be asking you that – you're the one that got stomped half to death, not me.” 

“This? Nah, I'll be fine. Few more pints of blood and you'll barely be able to see I was ever hit.” Their gazes caught and Spike found himself at a loss for words. He couldn't ever recall seeing such longing, such yearning in anyone's eyes before, especially aimed at himself. “Honest, pet, I'm fine.” Xander nodded and he watched as the boy's nostrils flared as though pulling in his scent. Hazel eyes dilated and the boy began leaning closer. Spike couldn't quite tell if it was voluntary or involuntary and simply waited. Whatever Xander had said about the feelings belonging to both him and to this 'wild thing' inside, Spike wanted to be sure. He was heartily sick of getting his heart stomped on by someone wandering off wherever the stars or Ms Edith said to go, whether with or without him. 

Xander looked into his eyes, silently questioning and Spike nodded just once. It was all the encouragement Xander needed and just for a moment Spike saw the other part of him just behind his eyes. He didn't have time to question it because Xander closed the gap between them and pressed their lips together. 

As first kisses went it was clumsy and unpracticed. Spike's lips were dry and a little cracked from his time unconscious and Xander was obviously nervous as their teeth clicked together and their noses bumped. With a smile, Spike took Xander's face between his hands and tilted his head to where he wanted it before taking control of the kiss. Xander seemed to hesitate and pull back but Spike waited. One beat. Two. Three. Then warm arms slipped beneath his body and pulled him up into a tight hug and the mouth beneath his parted and Xander breathed/moaned into his mouth. There were no more clashes of teeth, no more notice paid to dry lips or nervousness as the kiss deepened and they tried to devour each other. 

“Oh God!” Xander's heartfelt moan was muffled as they moved their mouths apart, together, consumed by a passion that seemed to have come from nowhere. One strong hand gripped the back of his neck whilst the other tugged at the loose material covering his upper body, obviously trying to get to skin. In the back of his mind aware that Angel and Wesley would be back shortly, Spike began gentling the kiss, slowly bringing Xander down until he wasn't holding onto Spike s desperately. 

“Sssh, ssh pet, it's okay yeah? Settle down now – Percy'll be here in a minute – don't wanna get caught necking like kids do we? You yanks call it making out – silly words for how it can make ya feel ain't that? C'mon, calm down now.” It took a few minutes but Xander stopped clutching at him although he didn't let go completely or move back. 

“Knock, knock, we alright to come in?” Wesley's clear tones came through loud and clear before the door opened and he walked in, smiling warmly at both Spike and Xander. “It's good to see you awake Spike. I don't mind admitting things seemed rather touch and go there for a few moments. Is there anything you need before we get started? Angel said something about some unknown demons and potentially prophecy> Although he didn't mentioned what prophecy.” He obviously noticed Xander looking behind him apprehensively. “Angel said you had stuff to talk to me about that you would probably prefer that he not hear, so he's heating up more blood.” 

Xander very obviously relaxed and Spike smiled appreciatively at Wesley's thoughtfulness. 

“Xander, Cordelia has spoken to me in some depth but Angel wasn't very specific. He did say you've gone through some changes … it would be most helpful to hear it all from you.....”

* * *

Emotionally and physically exhausted after days and nights keeping vigil over Spike, then telling Wesley everything (including some personal details that made Spike smirk and Xander blush), it was no surprise that Xander basically passed out. It was obviously hours later that he woke up, lying completely motionless he tried to remember just where the hell he was and who was making those snuffly noises at his chest. 

His left arm had gone completely numb under the solid weight of the body lying half across him and he realised it was the pins and needles in the fingers of his left hand that had awakened him. That and a desperate need to relieve his bladder. Peering down through the dim light in the room, he could just make out a fluffy nest of blond curls before his view was obstructed by sheets. 

(It's him. The delicious one.) The voice in his head was as clear as a bell and didn't feel like it was fighting for dominance, just sharing information. The need to pee was becoming more pressing but he found himself reluctant to move. Spike made a quiet delicious weight, comfortable and comforting at the same time. 

“Spike.” He kept his voice low, not wanting to startle Spike while he was really still recuperating. “Spike, you need to move.”

“Don't wanna.” Although muffled, the words were clear, the statement emphasised by the grip the strong arms took on his body. A leech had nothing on this tight grip. 

“Promise I'll come straight back.”

“No.”

“What is they say in that vampire movie? Spike – I need a few human moments.” 

“Bloody hell, pet, s'not right that movie. Vampires don't fuckin' sparkle and they certainly don't ponce around in bloody Rome in soddin' great big cloaks.”

“Which is probably why Willow and Buff watch them as comedies. Hey, wait a minute – do you guys have something like the Volturi?” Ruffling of the bedclothes and Spike's head finally popped out, and he crawled up Xander's body until he was looking down into Xander's face. 

“Well they ain't got no fancy name but - “

“Oh my God! You guys have got like judges and stuff?!” 

“No, don't be daft! Thought you needed the bathroom.” Spike was obviously trying to look stern but failing abysmally. The candy floss fluff of his hair wasn't helping him in the slightest and the still dozy look to his eyes made him look more adorable than threatening or intimidating. 

“Will you tell me about them when I get back?” He shook off the pins and needles and in a fit of courage wrapped his fingers around Spike's throat, holding him in place. He looked into Spike's eyes, wondering how Spike was reacting. The blue eyes were sparkling gold, a hint of fang showing. He couldn't explain why it affected him the way it did but he knew for a fact there was no way he was going to be able to take a leak with the hard on he was sporting. 

“You think you can top me boy?” The words were challenging but the body language was confusing. It was as though Spike was in two minds as to the answer he most wanted to hear. It set off a spark inside Xander that called up what could only be described as his wild side and with no thought, acting purely on instinct, Xander used his grip on Spike's throat to push him up and over, his body snapping into action so he could instantly cover Spike on the bed. Distantly he heard a growl of satisfaction but was only vaguely aware that it came from him. He was far too busy delighting in the fact that he finally, **finally** had Spike lying beneath him, blue eyes no longer just sparking gold but rapidly turning fully so that he was staring down at Spike in his full vampire visage. Arousing as that was, he wanted Spike's human face. Something within him said biting would most definitely come later, but now, now he wanted to own that mouth. Now he wanted to taste Spike without blood, just him. 

“Change back”. His voice was deep and gravelly and internally he was surprised at the commanding tone. 

“Why? Want to pretend I'm not a vampire do ya? Well this is who I am and if you're wanting me then this is what you get.”

He didn't even realise his hand had risen until the slap across Spike's face echoed in the room.....


	6. Instantly appalled at his actions, he went to pull away.

Instantly appalled at his actions, he went to pull away, shocked at the strong arms that kept him in place.

“Spike, I - “ **That** voice he recognised as his own. The apologetic tone, the almost submissive quality that begged forgiveness for his transgressions. A bead of blood glistened at the corner of Spike's mouth where the slap had split his lip and Xander was mesmerised, unable to remember what he had been going to say. (Taste it) That voice again – that damned dominating voice that talked about things he didn't want to consider.

Spike's tongue slipped out to lick at the bloody wound, blue eyes staring up at him. 

“You don't know which you to be do ya Pet? Seems like something in there is fighting you bloody hard cos I don't imagine you generally hit people”. The almost conversational tone seemed surreal as did the stroking hands that were caressing his back in broad sweeps. 

“I've never – that isn't who I am.” Finally able to pull a sentence together, he looked at Spike knowing the shame he felt was written all over his face. 

“Maybe not who you _used_ to be. But seems like it's definitely another part of you.” There was no condemnation in Spike's voice or face and perversely it made Xander feel even worse. What did it say about the lovers Spike had had that such casual violence was acceptable? “You need to remember, luv, there's a part of you in there that's a demon. They act different, they feel different. All the rules you've lived by have changed and I don't think there's any going back.” 

“What if I don't want to be that person? What if - “

“Not sure you have a choice, Pet. You go off and deal with your human needs. We can talk more when you come back.”

Reminded of his full bladder and the fact that his erection had faded in the aftermath of the slap, Xander nodded his acceptance of Spike's suggestion before he carefully climbed off the bed. Straightening his rucked up tee-shirt, he nodded once more and Spike before disappearing into the bathroom adjoining their room. Take care of this urgent need now, figure out his dominant, over-sexed alter-ego after.

* * *

With Xander out of the room, Spike could allow his feelings to show. The side of his face stung and he could practically feel each of Xander's fingers in the bruise he was sure was coming up. Struggling slightly with the sheets, he pressed the heel of his hand down on his persistent erection. He had never expected Xander to do something like that, had never even considered that the boy's demon was so strong. Xander was still so much himself, it was too easy to slip into treating him like the Slayer's errand boy instead of whatever he was evolving into.

The blow had hit so many of his kinks that Spike had been surprised into dropping his vampire mask. There was no way the boy could have known that from the first firm grip around his neck – not hurting, just holding him in place – Spike had been fighting the urge to roll over and waggle his arse in the air like a bitch in heat. The following displays of ownership – throwing him to his back, covering him with the entire weight of his body so there was no escape, ordering him to change his face. God, he had almost come from those alone. Only the tangle of sheets and the weight on top of him had stopped him from spreading his legs and baring his neck in submission. The slap was nothing more than a love pat to a vampire but the strength behind it, the force simmering beneath the surface made him feel like he just might have found the embodiment of all of his secret desire and fantasies, like somehow he was beating the Casino house in a game of double down, cheating and getting away with it. Even Angelus had never realised just how much the boisterous, loud, trouble-making William had wanted to be brought to heel and owned. If he had, things might have been different but Spike couldn't regret that now. Not when it was more than possible that in Xander he had found someone willing to treat him as an equal outside of the bedroom and a prized possession within it. Now all he had to do was convince the boy that those desires were perfectly normal and to accept his inner demon. All whilst trying to figure out who those demons were and what they wanted with him and stay off the Slayer's radar. Simple. 

The sound of the bathroom door opening caught his attention and he pulled himself into a a sitting position. More blood whilst Xander had slept had pretty much dealt with most of his injuries and with the sleep they had had he felt much more himself. 

Xander stood in the doorway looking unsure and nervous, obviously not sure whether Spike would welcome him back to the bed. He had got changed in the bathroom, taking off his dirty tee-shirt and jeans and wearing just sweatpants. Spike took a moment to take in the view. He had never really taken the opportunity to look Xander over and he was surprised by what he was seeing. The boy had suddenly become broad in the shoulders and chest, his muscles developed by the construction he'd been doing, all the days in the sun deepening his tan to a rich golden brown. His hair was longer than normal, heavy curls falling over his forehead and framing the clear hazel eyes. The sweatpants hugged strong thighs and Spike had to admit the boy was growing into a fine figure of a man. Strong and powerful – an arousing thought.

“You coming to bed Xander?”

“I – if you prefer, I could get another room. I can understand if you don't feel safe around me after that.” 

“What?” Spike was honestly confused, then remembered the slap and Xander's all too human reaction to it.

“I was always afraid I would turn out like my dad but I guess I thought being aware of it would be enough. Obviously not.” 

“Why are you so sure that was your human half? I mean, I have to wonder if they're calling you a wild one for a reason. Primal hyena, whatever it is, it's gonna have an effect on your attitude and your behaviour.”

“Yeah but surely it has to be there, right? That means that whatever it is that reacts like that is inside of me. Doesn't that make me a monster?”

“Xander, what happens in the bedroom – look, it's between me and you. And as long as it works and it's consensual, it ain't anybody's business.” God, this felt so much harder than it needed to be. Humans and their hang ups! The blush the boy was wearing was enough to start a fire. Determined to break through the inhibitions, Spike got out of bed, ignoring his nakedness even whilst admiring the way the flush on Xander's cheeks changed from embarrassment to arousal in one move. 

However the boy felt, however conflicted he was about what had happened, there was no denying how much it turned him on. Turned him and his inner beast on with a speed that was flattering to say the least. 

“I don't – before it's been difficult. I just - “ Stammering to a halt, Xander made an obvious effort to collect his thoughts. “Every other lover I've had has been female and if I'm honest, there haven't been too many of them. I never felt comfortable – right – in letting that side of me go. I've never explored that side of me. I've looked on the internet, I know some of the things that go on but I've never - “

“S'not wrong to want to dominate your partner. Or be dominated. Everybody's got their kinks – I could tell you things that would curl your hair luv. Just taken a bit of a demon to convince you to let yours out. The important word is consensual.” Spike watched as Xander took in what he was saying and thought about it. He had a pretty good guess what question was coming next although again, he wasn't sure how he was going to explain why being dominated pushed his buttons. Maybe the human side of Xander could get that but the demon had to be confused. In the demon world, it was rule or be ruled, no two ways about it. But Xander surprised him. 

“Have you – has anyone ever, you know, against your will?” He wasn't sure how to answer that. How did he explain the bonds and rules between Sires and Childer? That whatever Angelus had done to him, he had the right to do? Perhaps the demon in the boy would help him understand because this wasn't going to sit well with the human part of him. 

“Demons are different luv, you know that.”

“I don't want to do that to you. I want anything we do to be consensual. Always. Both ways.” Touched in ways he couldn't even begin to express. Spike swallowed around the lump in his throat and nodded his agreement.

“S'that enough talking now? Not sure how long we're going to have this bubble of calm before Angel and his lot interrupt and don't really wanna waste any more of it.” He nodded once more. “Not that communicatin' isn't important because it it.” God, he sounded like a right ponce but it needed saying. “Never be afraid to talk to me Pet, about any of this.” Xander smiled and nodded, shifting awkwardly from foot to foot. “Now, can we stop talking before I lose my balls altogether and grow a clunge?!” Xander's shocked laugh was exactly what he wanted to hear, and reaching out he took the boy by the hand and drew him towards the bed, his hard cock pointing the way with gusto.


	7. He could hear Xander singing in the bathroom...

He could hear Xander singing in the bathroom, his voice occasionally mangled as he dunked his head in the shower but Spike had no inclination to get up and join him. He was too busy luxuriating in the bed, pressing against bruises to enjoy the renewed bloom of pain, inhaling the intoxicating aroma of blood and come.

His hips, thighs and back ached pleasurably, as did his backside and he knew he would be feeling Xander's strength for a good few days. The boy – no, the man, no one who fucked like that should be called a boy – had taken him completely at his word, trusting that if he did something Spike didn't want Spike would speak up. 

He had twisted and turned Spike in every direction, touching, tasting, learning everything about his body before starting all over again. Strong hands had swept all over him, broad palms had slapped his arse and flanks as Xander fucked him into the bed. He had made use of whatever was at hand, binding Spike with an old tee-shirt so that he was strapped tightly to the bed-head, unable to touch Xander at all. Spike could feel the bite-marks at the back of his neck throbbing, could see hand-prints on his shoulders if he twisted just so. The hand-prints were from when Xander had rode him into the bed, forcing him flat from his hands and knees, pressing down on Spike's back with his entire body weight to keep him there while he used the power of his hips and muscular thighs to force himself in as deeply as possible. 

Spike's back and sides were mottled with bruises and painted with cum, Xander pulling free to jack himself to climax over Spike's back, rubbing it in with his whole body whilst biting down on the back of Spike's neck, muttering feverishly in his ear that Spike was his now, was owned and marked so that no one could ever mistake just who he belonged to. His chest was covered in bite marks that travelled all the way down to his lower belly, a particularly dark suck wound decorating his hip. Xander might only have blunt human teeth but he had used them to full effect, breaking Spike's skin in a number of places and lapping at the thin traces of blood he had coaxed to the surface. Even Spike's lips and face were bruised and tender. 

“Are you getting up?” He'd been so lost in his musings that he hadn't heard Xander come back from the bathroom. He stood at the bottom of the bed, one hand squeezing moisture from his hair with a towel. He looked a strange combination of concerned, relaxed and sated. No doubt it was the demon who was relaxed and sated, and the human part of him that was concerned.

“I'm getting up. Just enjoying the afterglow.” Spike smirked at the blush that spread across Xander's cheeks. 

“So it – it was alright then?” 

“Better than alright Pet. Bet your new friend is practically purring.” It was strange to watch as Xander's stance changed and his demeanour became more confident. Spike was starting to find it easier to spot the transitions and noted they were getting smoother and smoother. Whether Xander knew it or not, he and the hyena spirit were reaching some sort of understanding, merging together. 

“Feels strange. You're right though – inside there's a part of me that's very contented right now.” He continued to dry his hair absent-mindedly while he pondered the information. 

“Content cos it made it's mark no doubt. Not that I'm complaining. You finished? I was gonna have a shower - “

“ **NO!!** ” Xander looked as surprised as Spike at the shouted objection but swiftly pulled himself together. “No. Don't – don't wash us off.” Inwardly rolling his eyes at himself – of _course_ Xander's demon would want Spike to continue to smell of him, especially if they were leaving the room and seeing the others. Spike climbed out of the bed, nodding and wincing at the same time. He'd been correct – he would be feeling the power of Xander's body for some time to come and it made him squirm with pleasure when he thought about it. 

“Ready to go see what Wesley's found out?” Xander pouted, looking like a child being threatened with deprivation of treats. “Need to luv – need to figure it out so we can keep you safe.”

“And you.”

“And me what?” Spotting a small pile of clothes that turned out to be his jeans and what looked like one of Angel's cast off tee-shirts, Spike turned to Xander who had stopped drying his hair and was heading in Spike's direction.

“Need to keep you safe. You're mine Spike and I need to know you're safe too.” Spike didn't even try to hide how much that pleased him, turning into Xander's embrace and holding the young man as tightly as he himself was being held. 

“Come on, luv, I would imagine Angel will be knocking down the door if we don't show our faces soon. We're in this together now.”

* * *

It made him vaguely uncomfortable. It had been bad enough before Spike turned up – Xander had never made any secret of his antipathy and lack of respect for Angel and the addition of the hyena's spirit had made no change to that whatsoever. It didn't help that simply by being the spirit of a primal. Xander's demon was spiritually if not physically at least two centuries older than Angel's own. The regard coming at him from behind Xander's eyes made his demon feel confused – part of him wanted to bow, scrape and show submission whilst the other part of him wanted to slam Xander to the ground and demand submission and proper respect. That would not make his dealings with his friends any easier – they were all too conscious that Angelus was merely leashed and not gone thanks to that damnable actress and her stupid ideas. Angelus's propensity for head games had also made them very wary of anything Angel said, wondering if he too liked to mess with people's minds. It was saddening – they had seemed to reach a place of acceptance and now it was like the trust was lost. With the arrival of Spike in a bloodied heap, his headache had grown exponentially. The Fang Gang all knew Spike's history and that a lot of his excessive reputation was joined to Angelus – having half of the Scourge of Europe under their roof, even leashed and chipped, was disquieting. Add that to what Wesley had managed to find out about the 'Wild One' and what he was prophesied to represent and everyone was on edge. 

He smelled them coming before he saw them, the arousal hitting him like a tonne of bricks. The way Spike was walking, the visible and metaphysical marks he was wearing with such pride – it all combined to make him extremely glad he was sitting down. There would have been absolutely no way to hide his reaction – as it was, he shifted uncomfortably, trying to make room for his rampant erection. Xander exuded satisfaction and contentment – his walk was an animalistic glide; his gaze was that of a predator guarding his mate – the possessive, guiding hand he had on Spike's lower spine making it clear to demons and humans alike that he considered Spike as his. Before they realised he was there, Angel observed the almost tender glances the two shared, the way Spike's body language spoke of deference, respect and submission. It made him feel jealous and envious at the same time. 

He had never experienced the bond they obviously shared – from the time of his turning, Darla had been his sire first, his lover second; Buffy had never really accepted his demon side and his fledging relationship with Cordelia had died beneath Gunn's open-hearted and sincere regard – who wanted to live in the shadows with someone who if they got too happy would eviscerate you when a natural born warrior was on bended knee, telling you that whether it was returned or not, they loved you with everything inside them? He had only heard some of what Gunn said to Cordelia but even **he** would have chosen as she had, the passionate kiss they shared enough to send him scurrying to his room to jack off in the shower. 

Sometimes he caught himself looking at Wesley with curious eyes. The intelligence was attractive, the way he had moulded himself into a fighter was more than appealing; the clarity of his gaze, the way he didn't flinch when Angel was in his vampiric visage was also an undeniable draw. But now they had something else to deal with first and he would consider whether to pursue that interest afterwards. Maybe.

“Sorry we disappeared on you.” Angel looked up in surprise, the non-snarky, clear tone coming from Spike making him feel wrong-footed. A quick glance at Xander and he could tell the apology came from Spike only – Xander still viewed him with suspicion and contempt. 

“That's fine – it gave us time to thoroughly research and hopefully ensure that Xander's demon is satisfied that a claim is clear. It explains a lot about his earlier aggression.” 

“What does?” He recognised Xander's surly tones from pretty much every conversation they had ever had in Sunnydale.

“Your demon needed to make sure that any males in the vicinity – worthy or not – were aware of your intentions to claim Spike. Now that the claim has been instigated and accepted, it will find us less threatening.” Angel tried to keep his tone even and reasonable, determined not to start a fight.

“I _never_ thought of you as worthy to be threatened by. You never scared me as Angelus and there's even less to be scared of now.” The scorn was evident in Xander's tone but Angel refused to rise to the bait. 

“I did say whether you thought we were worthy or not.” Angel watched as Spike smoothed his hand down Xander's chest to calm him down. The difference in the two of them was quite marked. Even without their mingled scent and the visible markings, it was quite obvious they were together, he wondered how Willow and Buffy would react or whether Xander would be joining them in L.A in Scooby exile?

“Ah, Xander, Spike, glad you've come down. I've actually just been speaking to Giles – calm down, I named no names. No, it was about the “Wild One Prophesy” and it's quite interesting. Shall we go into the main room and sit?” 

They all followed Wesley into one of the main rooms, Cordelia and Gunn arriving shortly after Wesley. Xander smiled when Cordelia sat on Gunn's lap and Angel wondered whether Xander would want Spike to do the same. Surprisingly, Spike didn't although he did take a seat next to Xander on the sofa, leaving very little space between them and Angel could see Xander had a white knuckled grip on Spike's hand. However confident he was of his claim on Spike, he **was** nervous about the outcome of Wesley's research. But behind the eyes, was that excitement?

“It's actually quite an interesting prophecy – Giles had done a small amount of research because of the potential for problems on the Hellmouth. The Wild One was prophesied to be the reincarnation of the great Hyena Spirit Xy'mundi who would be able to unite certain demon species and enable them to take their place in demon hierarchy. The reason you didn't recognise them Spike was because they tend to remain very much in the background. And the reason behind the attack was that many of them believe that in order for the Xy'mundi to do it's work, it must remain pure. If they thought you had desecrated Xander, they were an extremist set.”

There was silence as everyone digested what Wesley had said. 

“No sacrifice then?” That was Spike, cutting right to the chase.

“Surprisingly, no. They have a mate chosen for the Wild One and a ceremony would be performed around the ascension, bringing them into their power. After that, they would be expected to take their place on the Supernatural Council and represent their clan and any other demons that came under their umbrella.”

“I – Wesley, this is a lot to take in and I really appreciate you doing this. But I have gotta ask you – what the hell is the Supernatural Council?”


	8. I had forgotten you wouldn't be privy to a lot of this information...

”Sorry Xander, I had forgotten that you wouldn't be privy to a lot of this information. Just like the Watcher's Council, there is a Supernatural Council. In days gone by, the Watcher's Council would work with the Supernatural Council to ensure balance between humans and the demon world. Not all demons want to send the world to hell and however much the Slayer can achieve, she _is_ only one.” 

“What exactly does that mean? Why doesn't Buffy - “

“The Watcher's Council pulled away. A certain faction felt that they were working with the enemy, that having the Slayer be part of the Supernatural Council meant she might question too closely orders she was given. They didn't want her hesitating when she killed demons so they removed her from the Council and changed their Mission Statement.”

Xander looked poleaxed and Angel felt a pang of sympathy for him. It was a lot to take in after years of being told all demons bad, humans good. Demons were not allowed to give any information to the Council or the Slayer, hence Angel's exile from the demon world for working with the Slayer. He had never told Buffy all of this because he too hadn't wanted her to hesitate at a crucial moment. Most of the demons Buffy and the Scoobies met were lower level and all about taking over the world so helping her hadn't felt too much like betrayal of his own kind,. But the truth was, one person couldn't handle all demons – the Supernatural Council policed demons, upheld laws and stopped apocalypses, like the Slayer. The difference was, sometimes they protected demons from humans and their tendency to kill what they didn't understand. Genocide was not just something that demons did – humans were just as violent. 

“So the demons Buffy deals with are the bad guys?”

“Mostly.”

“She's – **we've** killed some good guys?” Xander looked sick.

“Calm down Xander. The demons Buffy comes across tend to be the bottom feeders, the murderers. If they weren't they probably know enough not to ping on her radar. There is no suggestion that she has done anything untoward. We're simply saying there's a bigger picture that most Slayer's are not made aware of. For good reasons generally speaking. Slayers rarely make it past their 18th birthday – confusing them by making them question good or bad when patrolling is definitely not a good idea.”

“The Watcher's Council use the Slayer as a weapon – point and shoot. Or stake rather. That;s why they struggle so much with Buffy and the way Giles allows her to operate. She is independent, questions them and works with others instead of alone. From the very beginning, Buffy has broken the rules of engagement and if she continues, Giles will have no choice but to introduce her to the information you now know. And I have to tell you, the Supernatural Council is excited – for the first time in a very long time, the Watcher's Council may have to comem back to the table. It could change everything.”

“So telling Buffy about this, about me, might not be the biggest thing she has to deal with?” 

“Exactly. Well, that, and the situation with Ms Rosenberg.” Again Angel felt sympathy rise for Xander – this had to be a lot for him to take in – his own life perspective was being forced to change, and what he was going to hear now wasn't going to be easy for him to accept. 

“There's a situation with Willow?” Cordelia snorted and Angel heard her whisper to Gunn “When isn't there?” but he didn't comment. 

“Xander, you need to understand that a of research has goe into this before we realised you were part of the prophecy. There have been some concern about Willow's propensity for using magic without appropriate supervision or training.”

“Giles is training her – I know he's spending - “

“Yes Mr Giles is tutoring her in some aspects of magic, but Ms Rosenberg has branched off and is doing a lot on her own and with some members of the Wicca group from her college.”

“Wait a minute, Wesley. She was hanging around with a girl called Tara but I met her. I refuse to believe that Tara was leading Willow deeper into that kind of magic – into dangerous magic.”

“No unfortunately the Supernatural Council would have been happier if Ms Rosenberg had continued her – um, friendship with Ms McClay. The Council is concerened with other members of the Wicca group. They have been experimenting with darker aspects of magic and not understanding the implications. Either that, or not caring. They raised a lower level demon recently but didn't have sufficient controls in place. The demon escaped and the Supernatural Council were forced to send out a wet team to deal with it and send it back.”

“This is crap Wesley. There is no say Willow would have done something like that or if she did, she would have told Giles, got him to help when this thing escaped. There's something off about the research, there has to be.” Angel was impressed with Xander's control. Even though he was agitated, he hadn't moved from the sofa or made any aggressive moves. 

“I'm very sorry Xander, the research has been verified. Ms Rosenberg had already left by the time the demon escaped. She may well not have known what occurred after she left but she was most definitely part of the group that raised the demon. The magical signatures were examined by professionals who checked and double checked. In fact, if you hadn't come up here, the Supernatural Council would have been contacting Mr Giles this weekend. Initial contact to warn him about the problems that are being experienced before seeing whether he would be able or willing to work with them to bring Ms Rosenberg under control.”

“God, so G-man has to revisit the Eygon nightmare and shop one of his own people? Wesley, you know that's not going to go well.”

“No, it's not going to be easy but it does need to be done. If Ms Rosenberg refuses to work under the auspices of the Supernatural Council, they may not have a choice in what steps they take next.”

“Are you saying - “

“I'm saying she can't be allowed to continue to dabble and play. The things she's involved herself in are too dangerous and too serious. It only took one wet team this time but there _were_ losses. If they haven't learned their lesson, if they continue, the job may well be more dangerous and with further reaching repercussions. Ms Rosenberg has too much power and not enough control.”

“God.” Spike wrapped his arm around Xander's shoulders, offering his support. 

“So the boy's gonna ascend to some bigwig Hyena position and these demons want him to be their voice on the council?”

“Yes, getting slightly more on track. Xander represents their only chance for their voices to be heard. For centuries, these demons have been unable to bring their concerns to light, have been forced to put up with being kicked about with no one to help them.”

“Xander is their emancipation.”

“Exactly. And no doubt the mate they have chosen for hinm is steeped in history, taught from a young age that they would help free their race from slavery and hardship. Instead, just as Xander is coming into himself, he begins to fixate on an undesirable - “

“HEY!”

“One of those that have been party to the oppression, whether they have taken any action themselves or not. Hence the beating Spike took. They didn't want Xander's growing affection to have a chance to bkossom into a full mating so planned to warn Spike off. Unfortunately, they lost Xander when he came to L.A so followed Spike. Getting close to him made them think that Spike had er, well desecrated Xander.”

“But I didn't.”

“They didn't know that.” 

“So what now?” Recognising his cue, Angel sat forward. 

“Now, well we have to ask you a few questions to figure out whether Xander is going to ascend still; whether they can still bring forward their mate; whether we need to put you and Spike under the protection of the Supernatural Council.”

“What sort of questions?”

“Questions that I don't need to hear to answers to, so Charles and I are leaving. Spike, Willow may not be here but consider yourself to have received the shovel talk. Xander, I told you it would all get sorted.”

“All hail Queen C.” Sarcasm from Gunn and a snigger from Xander. Angel could hear the affection and gratitude in Xander's voice as he gave the first real laugh since he had come to L.A. He had never understood the affection Cordelia kept in her heart for Xander, especially after the way he had betrayed her, but for a moment he could see why they would care for each other. There was a history there that could never been overwritten.

“They're staying here – what makes you think you're safe from my retribution?” Cordelia and Gunn stood up and began heading out of the room.

“Because I know for a fact that you ain't gonna wanna damage me too much. Y'all want all of this too much to lay me out too bad princess.” A small pang of envy struck Angel again as he watched Cordelia reach up to slap Gunn around the back of the head, Gunn catching her hand and pressing a kiss into the palm. 

“What sort of questions?”

“Xander, please try to understand that this is not prurient curiousity. If we didn't need the answers we wouldn't ask.” Angel appreciated Wesley trying to ease the way but knew the next few minutes were not going to be easy. Taking a deep breath, he turned to the two sitting closely together on the sofa and prepared to be the 'bad guy'.


	9. Wesley was flicking through his notes...

Wesley was flicking through his notes, obviously trying to give the illusion that he wasn't listening. Angel sighed and he could feel his body tense in preparation for the attack he was pretty sure was coming once he asked his question.

“Spike, did you or Xander top?”

“Angel - “

“What the hell?! No, you do **not** get to ask questions like that!!” For the first time since he had come to L.A Angel saw a physical manifestation of Xander's demon. The objection might be full on American teenager being asked to talk about sex, but the boy's eyes were glowing an eerie green, menacing in their other-worldliness.

“S'alright pet, calm down yeah? They warned us didn't they? Just calm it down – nothing to get worked up about right?” It was fascinating to watch Spike calming Xander down, the tense body slowly relaxing, the eerie green fading to leave embarrassed hazel. “Xander topped. If they mean desecration as in me taking him, no that hasn't happened.” Angel struggled to hide his surprise. He couldn't help it – he had automatically assumed that Spike would play the dominant role, regardless of Xander's demon status. 

“Then one way is still open for the chosen mate.”

“No it isn't.” Xander was making an obvious effort to speak calmly.

“I am obviously speaking from their perspective rather than our or your own. As far as they are concerned, you have not been desecrated by the undead desirable and are therefore in a salvageable position.”

“There is no other option. Spike is mine – there is no negotiation there.” Something obviously occurred to the boy.”Does that mean this might not happen? If I'm not salvageable I mean?”

“No. I'm sorry Xander. There is no way to reverse what's happening. You **will** ascend.” Angel watched as Xander absorbed that, said goodbye to anything resembling a normal life.

“What about the rest of it – if the extremists are not part of the situation. Would you be prepared to be their voice within the Supernatural Council?”

“ _Can_ the extremists be removed from the picture?”

“Not entirely but possibly long enough for you to get established with the mate of your choice.”

“Even if his choice is an _undead undesirable_?!”

“Spike, please don't be offended. From their perspective, you still represent those that have oppressed them. One quarter of the Scourge of Europe – what if you unduly influence Xander?”

“Me? Influence Xander?”

“They are not going to look at the ins and outs of your relationship. They merely see a century old oppressor mating with their soon to be ascended last hope.”

“What would it take?” Angel had been dreading the question and shared a look with Wesley.

“They would need an outward demonstration – something that affirms the equality of your relationship. Or even better, that Xander is in a dominant position?”

“What, they want me to parade around like his pet?”

“Basically.”

Quite predictably, things deteriorated rapidly after that. Xander stomped off to blow off some steam after instructing Angel to do something anatomically impossible with his idea that Spike should be paraded around. Wesley went to make a number of phone calls to see if it would be possible to arrange such a demonstration in as quiet a place as possible to avoid unnecessary embarrassment or stress. And Angel and Spike remained, trying to make sense of what was required and figure out just how it could be achieved in a new relationship with a fledging demon with the pride and arrogance of centuries and the control of merely days. 

“I ain't no ones pet! I don't care what you and Wesley say, I am not some tame vampire walking three steps behind him like he's my master or something. It may not be much, but I have my damn pride!”

“They're not asking - “

“Yes they bloody well are! Would you do it? Would you have done it for the Slayer with your “ _all powerful love_ ”?!”

“What wouldn't I do if I found the right person – a person to accept me faults, demon and all?” There was a pained silence and Angel inwardly flinched at what he had revealed but aware that this needed to be said. “If Buffy had truly been my soul-mate, if she had been able to accept Angelus as well as me, there is very little I wouldn't have done to consolidate her power. I loved her, Spike, but it was love of the light within her rather than all of her. And I know you, I know the depths of your love and what you are willing to do for it. It is part of what made you a perfect companion for Drusilla before she stabilised – well, as much as she ever will.”

“Can't I just fuck him and complete the desecration?!” The resigned tone Spike used reassured Angel that he wasn't serious. Not serious and starting to accept that he might not actually have much of a choice. If Xander wanted to do this, if he wanted to accept everything that being Xy'mundi and part of the Supernatural Council entailed, and knowing the Slayer's White Knight the way he did he could pretty much guess the answer to that – Spike would have a choice: play the part of Xander's subservient pet in public or lose this chance at love for good.

* * *

“I really don't think we should be presuming abduction. Xander told us he was going to L.A after patrol the other evening – hardly the act of someone under duress.” 

“The last time I saw Xander he wasn't himself. He – he was distracted and offhand. He forgot the name of my and Oz's Counsellor three times!”

“Hardly cause for calling the authorities Willow.”

“It's not like him not to pay attention.”

“I understand that he actually went to see Cordelia, that in fact they had remained friends and he wished to touch base.”

“But what about his new apartment? Willow said he mentioned something about that. And what's he doing for money? He hasn't been bringing take out to meetings lately so I kinda assumed he was out of work.”

“Buffy, surely you remember that Xander has been working in construction for at least six months? I'm given to understand that he was in line for promotion to foreman.”

“Really?” Giles could feel the force of a large headache building behind his eyes and struggled to avoid showing his frustration and annoyance. They were no longer children – he found it difficult to understand or accept when they showed such immaturity and tunnel vision. 

“Yes Buffy, really. Do you not keep in touch with him?” He knew it was a slightly underhanded dig – he had spent some time with Xander lately and knew the young man was feeling slightly abandoned by his friends. There had been something more lately but Xander had seemed reluctant to talk to him about it and the phone call from Wesley had pushed things slightly into the background. 

“Not nice Giles. I know I haven't been around as much as I should but that doesn't mean I don't care.”

“Actually there is something a little more pressing than Xander taking an extended vacation.”

“Oh God, not another apocalypse? I have a paper due early next week - “

“No, not apocalypse. Well not yet anyway. Willow I need to ask you a few questions.” Giles watched her closely, a slight twinge of guilt attacking him at her obviously nervous response. He should have been more diligent but he had thought the magic lessons they were undertaking would have taught her an appreciation for the rules of using magic. He had underestimated her interest, failed to direct her studies in an appropriate manner and expected a young woman of her intelligence and magical ability to accept the restrictions he placed on her. He should have known better and was more than prepared to accept his responsibilities. Unlike some of the traditional Watchers, he shared some if not all of the ideals of the Supernatural Council and with Buffy's unconventional approach to slaying, he had hoped that she would live long enough to move out from under the Watcher's Council completely and perhaps take her place on the Supernatural Council.

However, the situation with Willow threatened all of that and it needed to be dealt with. He had heard stories of how the Supernatural Council handled rogue covens in the past, knew how fortunate he, Ethan, Philip and the others had been – at least initially. Many did not survive calling up demons. 

“Actually Giles, I have to go soon. I – the thing with Xander is worrying me but I can appreciate what you're saying and that perhaps I was being hasty - “

“Sit down Willow.” Buffy turned to look at him, alert to the changes in his voice.

“What's going on?” 

“Giles, I - “

“There have been reports of magical misuse - “

“What?!”

“NO! That's – there hasn't been any misuse - “

“Willow, you raised a demon.”

“WILLOW!”

“It – it was only - “

“It escaped.”

“That's not true! Miriam sent it back – we just wanted to see if we could do it and we did, but we sent it back.”

“Willow, what are you talking about?”

“No, Willow, your friend Miriam did not sent it back. It escaped – in no small part because you and your friends were careless in your castings and did not provide enough safeguards.” He knew his voice cracked like a whip and winced inwardly. This was not how he had wanted things to go as there was a very real danger that her natural arrogance would force her to fight instead of listen. But surely she had learned _something_ from his experience with Eyghon and what he had shared with her? 

“I went over and over the whole thing before we even tried casting. I really think you might be exaggerating Giles. I know I' did it without your supervision but - “

“Will someone _please_ tell me - “

“The Council had to send in a team. The demon escaped and caused quite a bit of damage before they could contain it. There were casualties – no doubt you have noticed your coven of magic users has become smaller?”

“That's a pile of - “

“Will someone **PLEASE** tell what is going on?!”

With an angry glance towards Willow, Giles sat down at the research table. 

“There is a lot to go through, a lot you need to know, But it has been brought to my attention that a small but powerful coven of witches operating within Sunnydale have been experimenting with some of the darker magics. A week or so ago, they managed to conjure one of the lesser demons – more powerful than a vampire but not up to the Mayor's standard. The safeguards, the casting circle was strong but not strong enough and the demon escaped.”

“So the Watcher's Council - “

“Not the Watcher's Council – the Supernatural Council. They sent in a wet team and managed to capture the demon and send it back to one of the upper levels of hell. There were some casualties and it, with a few other things, has caused the Supernatural Council to feel that this coven needs to be brought under their control. As Willow comes under my tutelage, I am charged with speaking to her in the first instance, trying to get her under control. If I fail in that, unfortunately, they may decide to take her in hand themselves.”

“What do you mean – take her in hand?”

“I will explain more about the Supernatural Council But yes, probably what you expect by take her in hand.” 

“They'd – hurt me?” Finally it appeared to be sinking in that what she had been dabbling in was dangerous. 

“You would probably be taken into custody in the first instance. They would interrogate, try to find out just how far down the path of darkness you have travelled.”

“I haven't!! I swear to you - “

“Willow, did you raise a demon? After everything we've seen? Everything we've been through?” Buffy looked betrayed and heartbroken and Giles felt sorry for her. Her whole life was about to change yet again and she had to handle her friend's betrayal at the same time.

“It wasn't like that Buffy! I was trying to learn things to help you – to make fighting more efficient, give us an advantage. There was never any intention to – to - “

“Unfortunately, Willow, you know as well as I do that intent is not always enough.” The red head gave a heavy sigh, a sheen of tears in her eyes as she wrung her hands. 

“So what happens now?”


	10. I don't want to parade you around like some kind of pet....

”I don't want to parade you around like some sort of pet.” Spike sighed, pulling Xander close and dropping a kiss on his head. He knew how much it meant to Xander that regardless of what happened in the bedroom, outside they were equals.

“S'long as you and I know we're equals Pet, I don't give a good God-damn what anyone else thinks.” It was almost too easy to be relaxed about the situation. Spike realised that for him, it really was just that simple. This was worth so much more than potentially bruised pride or the thoughts of a group of demons who had never meant anything to him before. Xander respected him as a partner when it came to everything – the bedroom dynamics didn't change that.

To most demons it would have been an automatic assumption – if you were shagging a human, you were in charge. A lot of vampires saw humans as meat-bags, walking blood banks who had the unfortunate tendency to fight back on occasion. But just like any other set of demons, there were purists, extremists and there were those who didn't care as long as you followed the rules. There were those who wanted hell on earth, those who were quite happy with things the way they were and those who lived to cause trouble. Demons were very like humans in that respect. 

“What the hell do I know about being the voice of a species?!” He had wondered whether that would concern Xander. It was a lot for one person to take in let alone take on – moving from being an ordinary human being in a supernatural world to being one of the supernaturals.

“Probably more than anyone else. You know what it's like to be the ordinary voice amongst magic and super powers; you know what it's like to go into battle out-gunned from the start but emerge victorious; Xander, I've seen you go into a fight with nothing but an axe and a bad joke. You were bloody _made_ for this.” With a slight sense of surprise, Spike realised he wasn't bullshitting to boost the boy's ego. Xander really **was** ultra qualified for this position. He did know how it felt to be downtrodden – Spike had spent enough time with him in the basement to observe the relationship Xander had with his father. “This wasn't chance Xander, whether you wanna call it fate or karma – same bloody difference. That spirit thing knew what it was doing.”

“How can you be so sure?” It said so much about the trust between them that Xander allowed him to see this vulnerability as well as trusting Spike to tell him the truth. The boy was full of contradictions and Spike found himself looking forward to discovering each and every one of them. 

“You told me about the rest of 'em, how bad they got once they were possessed. D'ya not think the spirit had a choice? Coulda landed up in any of ya, stayed in any of ya but it chose you.”

“What, because I'm the weakest?”

“No, for precisely the opposite reason. You were strong – you **are** strong. Strong enough to be the leader, strong enough to challenge the Slayer even – and I would have _loved_ to have seen that. But that strength is tempered isn't it? Got all your human compassion and love making you see things other demons wouldn't. I think it makes you the perfect ambassador.”

“God, me a freakin' demon ambassador!! Buffy is gonna totally lose it!”

“Woulda thought they'd have their hands full dealing with the Witch.” He wished he hadn't mentioned it as soon as Xander's face dropped. So much change - 

“What will happen to her?”

“Depends on how she reacts. I reckon Rupes will rein her in tight now he's been made aware of what she's up to. She could be a real asset to the slayer if she'd get her ego under control.”

“I won't be thought will I? I can't go back – it's too late isn't it?” Wrapping his arms around Xander's shoulders, Spike pulled him close once more. He wished he could take some of the burden away – it was so much for the boy to handle in one fell swoop. But it was becoming increasingly obvious that Xander's demon and human sides were merging. 

Stretching around the armful of man he held, Spike relished the aches and pains all over his body, a small smile crossing his face as he registered the new marks Xander had put on him. Whatever insecurities Xander might have about being the voice of a tribe of demons, they didn't translate to the bedroom. There, Xander was ultra confident, extremely dominant and everything Spike could want. The hints and twinges of violence were an irresistible draw, the heart behind the physical dominance like a hidden prize. 

Xander buried his head in Spike's chest like a child searching for reassurance from a beloved parent. 

“I know it feels like you're in some of kind of exile luv, but it won't stay like this. We'll get this ceremony out of the way and figure out what you need to do for your people. Wesley's made contact and things can proceed when you're happy. You know I'm ready to do what it takes. It's gonna work out, luv, it will.”

“Do you want to stay here? With Angel and Cordy? I know you're giving up a lot for me, Spike, but I want you to be happy.”

“I'm doing okay. Negotiating with Angel to find someone to deal with the chip, got more than enough violence working for him and his team and that poncy detective agency; and they got the room – whole bloody hotel to choose from.” 

“When you put it like that - “

“It's a step on our journey luv. S'long as we're working together, facing the same direction, the rest of it we can work out. We can work out telling your Scoobies, moving your job – all of it. It's gonna take time Pet, but that's one thing we have more than enough of.”

He watched as Xander traced a random pattern on his chest, the heat from the human body soaking into him deliciously, 

“What if – I mean, just support this demon thing gets bigger, stronger, Will you still - “

“Always luv, It's just another part of you in the end. Any relationship is a bit like a pot see – you mould it, turn it, do your best to create it how you want it but stuff gets in there anyway. But some pots – you put them in a kiln and they crack and break. Others – to some people they might look a bit lopsided or just weird, but you put them in a kiln and it just makes 'em that bit stronger. We're that, luv – all of this crap is just that. Crap. Me an' you, we're strong enough to face all of this an' come out the other side. That's the bit you need to concentrate on yeah? Me and you.” Rubbing his fingers across Xander's scalp, Spike did his best to radiate confidence and reassurance. Whatever Xander needed, he would do his best to be or provide. This was an opportunity to have everything he had ever wanted and he would do anything to keep it. 

There was a lot to face: Xander ascending; the Supernatural Council, heck, telling the Scoobies Xander was gay and he was his chosen mate – but they were facing it together and as far as Spike was concerned that made them pretty much unbeatable.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here endeth “Just Another Part of Me”   
> but there may be more in the series at a later date.
> 
> * * *


End file.
